When Someone You Love is Kinky

This would be a good book to give to my mom. Assuming my mom isn't a total pervert, which wouldn't surprise me in the least.Sadly, what I *really* wanted from this book was more emphasis on romantic partners. That to me is kinda? what the title implies, and what I wanted to get out of reading it. I remember the confusion and scariness and "wtf am I even doing anyway" stuff that happened when my partner admitted to me that he was extremely kinky, and THAT was what I wanted this book to emphasize. It's mentioned in brief, and I appreciate that, but I wanted more on the "okay so my partner is kinky and I am willing to try being kinky also... now what? do I just go buy some leather pants?" question. That seems to be a pretty common problem, and one that existing literature frequently stinks at addressing. (Most "baby" BDSM literature is focused on "I have a kink, how can I act on it" rather than "my partner has a kink, how do I figure out how to incorporate that.")I didn't really go for the "Dear ___" letters, either. At first because they were done as images and not pull-quotes, so in the Kindle version, they're very hard to read. Then, when I could actually read them, I just got annoyed. The person who got harassed at work for writing kinky emails to their Dominant on their work computer? I am sorry that happened. It sucks that your boss is a jerk. But why on earth were you writing (again) kinky emails to your Dominant on your work computer? That's... not really sympathy-inducing, at least to me, and it sure ain't helping with the idea that us kinksters are all-encompassing perverts who are incapable of NOT being perverts when it's neither necessary nor appropriate.

I wish I could have read the whole book, but the copy I received was the intro and then The Declaration of Independence (at least the first two parts of it). I kept looking for the content, but alas it was just old government documents masquerading as a book about kink. Not sure what the content should have been. Returned it, but opted to not receive another copy. Such a strange misprint - just hoping someone who was looking for The Declaration of Independence did not get this book instead. That could have been awkward.

I heard great things about this book and bought one for my friend who is coming out. Of course, I had to read it before I could give it to her for that purpose.I found the round about way they approach some of the subjects bothersome. There are several areas that, as someone with extensive experience in these activities, I found evasive or poorly informed enough to consider not give the book.If you are more than 50 shades style kinky, read this book before you give it to a loved one. Depending on how they read this, it may not actually help.

This book is wonderful! It is a quick read and has a lot of information for someone with questions.The only reason I did not give it 5 stars is because in one chapter it describes a rape play sceen. This is the only part that made me scared to give it to my parents. I knew this would be too out there for them to handle.I just wish the author had chose. A different scene for that chapter.

I LOVE Dossie Easton and Janet Hardy's Topping and Bottoming books. That said, we loved this one also. I bought it for my boyfriend who is somewhat knowledgeable about the community already, but he enjoyed having everything spelled out in ink. We especially enjoyed the last two chapters regarding negotiating with your partner needs and desires, as well as being open about solutions.These girls have been an invaluable tool in my relationship! Fantastic buy.

This book is for the kinky person who is in the position of having or needing to explain their lifestyle to a loved-one and is not sure where to start. Includes actual letters written from lifestyles to their family/friends to explain things. Suggestions are given on how to approach this sensitive subject matter. This book can also be given to the non-lifestyles for them to read if you are unable to broach the subject with them.

Great read for those who either live the lifestyle or want to introduce a spouse or significant other to the world if kink. Recommended to me by my therapist it is an all inclusive in depth look at the mindset if people in. The kinky lifestyle.

This is a basic "how to tell your partner" book. Or give it to your partner to read, with some explanation first. It was very informative. This is not a "how to start a BDSM relationship."

I was kind of hoping for more from this - I felt like a lot of the content was an application of what I learned over the years in coming out as gay, but now applied to a slightly different type of coming out. And even reading it in that light, it was kind of an old-style PFLAG-and-friends coming out rather than a more modern finding-community-on-the-internet type which was already the deal when I came out around 2006 with MySpace, AIM, etc.Maybe all this stuff (the Internet and sexual politics) is moving too fast for any book to stay relevant for long though. It's a solid foundation for someone just starting on this journey, but maybe won't help someone on phase two of their sexual awakening.

It's too graphic to try and explain the lifestyle to bet religious parents. They don't outright condemn beastiality in the glossary

i got it on the day i was told it would come ! Was in great shape ! I will update when i get thought and read it , Its not letting my photos upload!

ok book

I am not into kink but have a partner who is. I find some of the stuff he likes really scary and alienating. Who in their right mind wants to be tied up for hours on end, or be forced to obey someone else's every whim? And why the emphasis on humiliation, on being hurt, or on abasing oneself? I came to this book hoping for some answers. What I found, instead, was a self-justifying diatribe, with a rather supercilious attitude towards those who are 'vanilla'. 'Oh poor you, we know you can't understand the joys of being slapped around, but you'll just have to take our word for it...it's the most liberating thing in the world.'There are some things which, quite frankly, are deviant. Wanting to be hit; wanting to humiliate yourself in front of others. Yes, you might get a kick from it, but that doesn't make it right. Cutting yourself for pleasure? Please...This felt like some of the pro-anorexia websites. 'If it feels good, just do it.' The human body should not be subjected to brutality, and hitting someone is not 'love'. It's all too warped and weird...I know those who are into this lifestyle will think me narrow minded, prudish or bigoted...but this is my truth. The book would have been better if written as a dialogue between someone who doesn't 'get' kink, and someone who does. As it stands, it's too one-sided to be of much help.